drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
