this boner is exhausting
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
