I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
