I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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