So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Don't make out with my wife yet
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
