Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
