Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
