Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
