Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
