he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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