I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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