This girl is more easily done than said...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I believe in your delicious
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
