Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
