Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
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We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
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Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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