we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
