i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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