I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
