I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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