that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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