I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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