the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am available for nakedness
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