Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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