It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
