I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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