just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
