My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
