OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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