everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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