I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
