i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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