she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just pee around me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
