I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
