is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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