I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
