Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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