I need help removing her.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
