If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
