i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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