I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sorry my hands just texted you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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