Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
