is your mom at the bar?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
