How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
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Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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