um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's shark week go big or go home
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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