my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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