how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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