this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
