ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
