I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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