Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
