I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize