this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
