I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
