11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
