im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Randomize
