I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
