i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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