You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
