so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
