I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
