At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
