There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
