you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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